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The Side Door

The Side Door
by Jan Donley


 

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When We Were Outlaws
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WHEN WE WERE OULAWS
by Jeanne Cordova

A sweeping memoir, a raw and intimate chronicle of a young activist torn between conflicting personal longings and political goals. When We Were Outlaws offers a rare view of the life of a radical lesbian during the early cultural struggle for gay rights, Women’s Liberation, and the New Left of the 1970s.

Brash and ambitious, activist Jeanne Córdova is living with one woman and falling in love with another, but her passionate beliefs tell her that her first duty is “to the revolution” –to change the world and end discrimination against gays and lesbians. Trying to compartmentalize her sexual life, she becomes an investigative reporter for the famous, underground L.A. Free Press and finds herself involved with covering the Weather Underground, Angela Davis; exposing neo-Nazi bomber Captain Joe Tomassi, and befriending Emily Harris of the Symbionese Liberation Army. At the same time she is creating what will be the center of her revolutionary lesbian world: her own newsmagazine, The Lesbian Tide, destined to become the voice of the national lesbian feminist movement.

By turns provocative and daringly honest, Cordova renders emblematic scenes of the era—ranging from strike protests to utopian music festivals, to underground meetings with radical fugitives—with period detail and evocative characters. For those who came of age in the ‘70s, and for those who weren’t around but still ask ‘What was it like?’ –Outlaws takes you back to re-live it. It also offers insights about ethics, decision making and strategy, still relevant today.

With an introduction by renowned lesbian historian Lillian Faderman, When We Were Outlaws paints a vivid portrait of activism and the search for self-identity, set against the turbulent landscape of multiple struggles for social change that swept hundreds of thousands of Americans into the streets.


Stealing Angel
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STEALING ANGEL
by Terry Wolverton

Maggie Seaver is on the run. With Angel, the seven year old she has raised with her estranged ex-partner. Rescuing her daughter is an imperative she can no more ignore than breathing—Angel has been abused by her caretaker. Instinctively, Maggie flees toward the only help she can believe in.

As she careens down the Baja peninsula with her ex-partner, the FBI, and the American media all in pursuit, Maggie cannot afford to trust any help she finds along the way; she can rely only on her instincts and her source of spiritual strength.

Yet, when she reaches her destination, the reception she receives turns out to be far different from anything she could ever have expected.

Stealing Angel is a riveting, unforgettable journey through the spectacular landscape of the Baja, and the landscape of a woman's spirit.


The Side Door
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THE SIDE DOOR
by Jan Donley

On her first day of high school, fifteen-year-old Melrose Bird sees Alex Weber's mother on a park bench staring at Drift High School where her teenage son died five years ago.

Alex's death has never been discussed in the town or at the school. But Mel and her best friend Frank become obsessed with Alex's grave and consumed by the why of his suicide. When Mel happens upon a pair of Alex's cargo pants, she takes them. And what she finds inside the pockets brings into focus the story of Alex's brief life and his death.

Determined to pressure the school and the town into recognizing why Alex died, Mel confronts a world of adult secrecy and deception. Even her own peers are giving her trouble. Mel's assertion of her identity—her buzz cut and the pants she wears—is met with condemnation from her classmates.

But anyone who thinks Mel Bird will retreat from disapproval or opposition is badly mistaken.

"THE SIDE DOOR is an affecting story about a couple of Superman-loving kids who discover that it's by revealing their secret identities that they come into their true super powers." - Alison Bechdel


Apparition Alley
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APPARITION ALLEY
by Katherine V. Forrest

Kate Delafield is at war. With LAPD's Department of Internal Affairs which is challenging her conduct during an arrest gone disastrously wrong. With the police psychologist who holds in her hands the power to keep Kate off the job—and is exercising it. With her police partner who has gone AWOL in Kate's hour of need. With the police colleagues who condemn the investigation and defense she's undertaken for a cowboy cop who looks guilty beyond doubt of the bad shooting charges brought against him. With the woman she loves who has been brutally reminded of the dangers in Kate's job. Worst of all, Kate is at war with herself, forced to question the integrity of her own police department, and forced to make a decision that will crucially affect her own LGBT community.

Apparition Alley ranks as the most electric and suspenseful of the storied Kate Delafield mystery series.

First Published by Berkley Prime Crime 1997.


Benediction
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BENEDICTION
by Diane Salvatore

One of the finest novels of this or any season unveils a story taken from many lesbian lives, a story that will awaken memories in us all…

Grace is a junior at Immaculate Blessing Academy for Girls in Queens, New York. She deeply admires young, devout Sister Mary Alice. Her best friend is Anne, whose central topic of conversation is how far she will go with her boyfriend. Grace is relieved to be dating unaggressive Glen, who is thinking of becoming a priest.

Grace looks up to the swaggering, self-assured Linda Amato, star center of the champion basketball team. Then she accidentally discovers an electrifying secret about Linda.

When Grace meets rebellious, sensuous Meg, her entire life becomes a cauldron of powerful emotion and chaotic desire. To be close to her, Grace defies her mother. And risks her friendship with Anne. Glen makes new demands and Sister Mary Alice issues a troubling moral challenge.

And Meg – what is Grace to make of Meg’s ardent yet contradictory behavior? Can the intimidating, intriguing Linda Amato help to lead Grace out of this morass? And will Grace have the courage to break all conventions and claim the love, and the life, she comes to see is her true nature and destiny?

This book was originally published in 1991 by Naiad Press.


Children of Mother Glory
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THE CHILDREN OF MOTHER GLORY
by C.M. Harris


In the turn-of-the-century Midwest, young Glory Potter’s lot in life is to serve her father’s ministry. When Glory grows into a dominant matriarchal figure—transcending her father in the creation of the Potterite faith and an industry that supports the town of Gulliver—she finds herself fighting "demons from hell" that irresistibly draw her to the woman she craves with all her being.

Sebastian, reviled in Gulliver as a conscientious objector for obeying the pacifist dictates of the sect, ends up sequestered in a camp where he too is wracked by the fierce war between his faith and his desire for a fellow CO.

Danielle, fifteen years old, already wrenching herself from her implacably judgmental family, defying her faith to preserve her lesbian self, begins a journey unpredictable in its twists and turns, and its costs.

Jacob, working for the industry that Glory created, uncovers a number of dark secrets about the Potterite sect. The arrival of sales rep Diana, a transgendered woman, further upends his every concept of himself.

Like signposts across a century, these four intersecting lives reveal that mysterious inheritance known as human desire and its power to outpace ideology. This powerful, beautifully crafted and inclusive LGBT novel is a story for our times.


Command of Silence
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COMMAND OF SILENCE
by Paulette Callen


A spellbinding mystery unlike any you have ever read.

Two children have been stolen at different times out of the same household, one an infant from a bedroom, the other from a playground.

Into this baffling case enters Shiloh & Company. Well known for investigative effectiveness to a cooperative if uneasy police department, unique among detective "agencies," Shiloh & Company is composed of disparate personalities--Sugartime, Hester, Isadora, Lance, Olive, Hawk--who reside in the single person of Shiloh. Shiloh's assorted identities, born out of extreme childhood trauma, have acquired a collective instinct, a priceless gift in detective work: an unerring tuning fork for the truth.

Shiloh has been nursed back to functioning health and sanity by lesbian therapist Ray Martinez, still intent on integrating all the self-protective personalities. But this case is lethal to Shiloh's very identity: a crime involving children cuts to the heart of what first brought Shiloh to Ray's attention. In pursuing this mystery, the fragile mental health and fragmented existence of Shiloh will be tested to its limit.

Allow yourself time for Command of Silence. Once you pick it up you will be reluctant to leave the compelling world of Shiloh and Company.


Qualities of Light
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QUALITIES OF LIGHT
by Mary Carroll Moore


An early summer morning, a forbidden boat ride. An accident that puts Molly Fisher's seven-year-old brother in a coma. And Molly's life plummets out of orbit.

Steeped in self-blame, she reaches out to her parents. But they occupy their own elliptical orbits, grief-stricken, distant, estranged from her and from each other.

Into Molly's anguish and solitude intrude two people: Chad, whose awkward courtship meets her even more awkward response; and Zoe, at seventeen a year older than Molly, and seemingly light years ahead in the frankness of her interest and the boldness of her pursuit of Molly.

Qualities of Light explores the budding of unexpected romance in the face of family tragedy, the forging of a new relationship between a daughter and her gifted, difficult parents, and an adolescent girl's confrontation with her own qualities of light and darkness.


 

From the Desk of...

Katherine V. Forrest

Katherine V. Forrest

An Interview with Jeanne Cordova, author of
When We Were Outlaws

Katherine: Jeanne, even though I lived in Los Angeles during the time you describe in When We Were Outlaws, your memoir reads like a gripping suspense novel.  Also, very unusual for a memoir, it focuses on the events of one singular year in your life.  Why did you choose that year, and what led you to this decision?

Jeanne: I wrote Outlaws as a novelized memoir with “gripping suspense” because I know many people like novels. We all love a story. I didn’t want my version of lesbian history to be sidelined as dry history, or self-indulgent memoir, when in fact, it’s a juicy historical drama.

In 1999, I sat down to write a love story. I’d been writing journalism and political essays for two decades, but never challenged myself to write a basic love-story type novel. I began with a certain woman, an unresolved love affair. That took me to the years 1974 to 1976. To my surprise the story began spinning its way into lesbian and gay and New Left politics—by way of the original love story, because this was how I was living my life when I met and fell in love with Rachel. A couple of years into this project I called her to say, “Hey—guess what, our story is turning into a political drama.” She just shrugged and said, “I’m not surprised, that’s who you are.”

As I began to tell the story of Cordova and Rachel, I got into all the activist machinations and dramas of my life in 1975. I began to see that this was a critical year
in the rise and development of Lesbian Nation, as well as the real end of sixties radicalism. And I began to see that the real love story I was writing about was about me and my life’s love—lesbian nation.

After that, the story got so big and sweeping that I just had to end it before I got to 1,000
pages. I tend to lead a very full life—but that year was an epoch unto itself. Looking back my first memoir, Kicking the Habit; A Lesbian Nun Story, it was also only one crucial year in my life. I like big thick slices of pie, one at time.

Katherine: What was the experience like in researching this book?

Jeanne: We might have to ask my spouse and Research Editor that question. She is an internet maven and did most of the hard research of impossible-to-find answers to questions. About 85% of this book, facts and research included, came out of my memory. But she fact checked most of it. Many writers have told me that you can’t write a good book while living with a lover, it’s too polyamorous/non-monogamous. I am very blessed to have a partner who can compartmentalize almost as well as I can. Structuring the book turned out to be the most difficult for me.

Katherine: Given the candor of the details you share, clearly it was an emotional journey of major proportions, revisiting this era of your life, especially your emotional life during this time.  Can you share the experience of that writing journey with us?

This is the most painful question to answer. In the early ‘90s I went to an OutWrite Conference in Boston, Mass. I remember it clearly. It snowed. I froze. But I heard the keynoter Dorothy Allison say, “If you’re not bleeding on the page you should probably throw the page away.” So that was my guide. When I bled, jumped out of the chair, hyperventilated, and swore—“I’m not writing about this!” I kept coming back, popped a Xanax or two, and just kept going. I don’t know that I want to share this journey in too much detail. I might scare writers away from looking for answers in their deepest shadow self. Maybe that’s just the price of tea in China. If your writing bores you it sure as f--- is gonna bore others.

There are two scenes, the most vulnerable and therefore dangerous scenes, that I debated dropping out of the book. I told myself all kinds of rationalizations like, “Don’t worry, you’ll never get published and no one will ever know.” Fear has crushed many a writer. I suggest that writers go into denial and stay there as long as you can while you keep writing the truth. The other thought I had was—I’m no perfect human being. I’m well acquainted with my faults. A large part of memoir is being vulnerable.

So yes, I cried a lot. In fact, this is getting hard. I have to go watch Ab Fab now before I answer any more questions!

Katherine: Since this is one year out of a life of great significance to us in the lesbian community, do you plan another book—or books?

Jeanne: KVF, what else did you want to pry into? Oh yeah… do I plan other books?

Yes, writing Outlaws focused me on the importance of the lesbian feminist generation, how and why we built a movement, and what long term changes we wrought or informed. So, I believe my next book will begin with the story of the birth of that movement and follow its development through, say 1985. I’d also like to write a book about my biological family, my 11 siblings and parents who are wacky yet very talented. We have a University President, ex-space scientist, an economist on the FED Board, a chiropractor, a Harvard MBA realtor, two family businesses cum zany CEO’s, an attorney who keeps us all out of jail…the list goes on.

Katherine: Your work as an activist and journalist is one of the building blocks of our lesbian community.  Would you tell us how you view this lesbian world of ours today that you helped bring into being?

Jeanne: Thank you. Ah, that’s a big question. Big swaths of our lesbian world, those women who
can look or act like society’s version of an acceptable woman, are today free to declare
themselves gay without losing their family, job, or apartment. Having grown up in a world in which one could lose all of these things, I’m very proud that my generation built this platform of freedom for our daughters.

But I’m not always proud that so many lesbians choose to do little in their lives besides consume the fruits of equality without regard for others whose race, class, or gender appearance makes them still at risk. Despite the single-issue focus on our questionable desire to get married, the battlefront in fact has moved from gay & lesbian equality to discrimination against the queer—the one who doesn’t fit in.

Recently I’ve gone to work as an activist and writer on the gender justice frontier. As an open butch, I see and feel the rank discrimination against all of us who were born with a cross or trans gendered identity. This sexism is what’s behind the “bullying” of young feminine boys and masculine girls. With others, I just founded an organization called Butch Nation that will address this often life-threatening identity choice. Like being gay, I don’t think being other-gendered is a choice. As I say in the author’s note of When We Were Outlaws, many of us still experience the persistent pain of not being acceptable. So I would hope that lesbian nation does not walk away from the struggle when the job is only half done.

Katherine: Finally, Jeanne, after all the time and tears and unremitting effort that have gone into writing When We Were Outlaws, what do you most want your readers to take away from your book?

Jeanne: That it’s a book about what it means to grow up deleted and dangerous in American culture. A constant beacon in my life has been the reimagining of myself, or an entire generation of teens, growing up in a queer-affirming loving world. If you are one of these youth, this book is about you and how to become an LGBTQ activist. And if you are one of the hundreds who lived through the ‘60s and ‘70s as a boomer who changed history, that you will recognize your life in Outlaws.

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